Excuse me..

It [love] is not rude

I have a running list of things that I would consider my 'pet peeves'. There are times when I can feel the hair on the back of my neck begin to stand on end. There are things that in relationships and friendships alike become 'deal breakers'. I watch people do something that I cannot fathom. I begin to mutter the words under my breath, 'that's so rude'.

Example 1.
When someone has a wonderfully delicious meal in front of them, and I am sitting across from them gazing at my deliciously wonderful meal as well. They take their fork, knife, spoon or whatever utensil they've determined is appropriate for the meal (no use excluding sporks, chopsticks, etc) and then they shovel it in, making the most loud and crude sounds while eating. Not only that, their grinding, chopping massacre of the food is also a not-so-tasty display of the elementary principles of color mixing in the laboratory that is their mouth.

Here's where I would pull out my stamp-of-disapproval-which-doesn't-really-mean-anything and declare this act of savagery as rude.

Example 2.
You're sitting across from an attractive member of the opposite gender. You're smiling, flirting, and saying all of the appropriate things. Surprise! He is as well. All is going according to plans. The waitress comes up, pleasantly she addresses both of you and introduces herself. The next time she returns, Mr. Tall-Dark-Handsome-And-Rude calls her by the wrong name, rudely complains about everything that she has brought out, and then refuses to tip her at the end of the night.

So rude.

So what does this ridiculous rant about my pet peeves and deal breakers have anything to do with love? They are prime examples of what love isn't first and foremost, but also because they paved the way to a more deep examination of what it is to be un-rude.

Being courteous is something that we are taught at an early age in classrooms, by our parents, by our mentors. It is something that we do. We share. We give up something that we have. We sacrifice. Do you see where this is going? When we are rude, we hoard. We hoard things like forgiveness and compassion. When we are rude we hold on tightly to things. We let our opinions hold us from embracing someone else. We don't make sacrifices.

And the Bible is clear that greater love has none shown that a man would lay down his life for a friend.

In all of my judging of people, I am rude. I hoard forgiveness and compassion and understanding. How can I be more considerate?