Green with it.

It [love] does not envy.

Why am I a grass is greener on the other side sort of person? Why don't I just find a way to be content in any and all circumstances? Why must I look at other people and desire the things that they have. A house, a family, a career, a life that looks completely and utterly put together.

What is that feeling that tears at my insides and makes me want to trade lives with other people? What is this monster that growls loudly in my stomach (maybe I am hungry...) whenever I see something that I don't have and couldn't ever dream of obtaining?

Envy.

It isn't something that we are unfamiliar with. It isn't all that hard to begin seeing people with things that you want. There are people that we covet because of their electronics collection, the guy that they have on their arm, the guy that they are dating.

However, something I have had a long path to discovering: I envy (to wish that one had the possessions, achievements, or qualities of (someone else)) even when there isn't a specific person to envy. "I wish that it were sunny outside." Somewhere, somebody is basking in sunshine. But, even worse? When I envy it is a slap in the face to God.

God knows me.
God knows my every thought.
God knows my waking and my sleeping.
God knows my actions done in the light and in the shadows.
God knows where I am and what I am doing.
God knows His plans for me.
God knows every head on my head.

Why would God put me in a situation that He doesn't want me in? (This is to be removed from the argument that we have put ourselves in situations God never intended us to be. But, I don't believe that my sins directly affect whether or not there are clear skies tonight so I can see the stars). Why would God intentionally seek to make me sad when He knows my discontentment in my situation? Why would I question God's plan for me anyway?

If God didn't think I could handle this, or that I should go through this to rely on His strength more, then why would I be here? Why would I doubt God's plan for my life?

Why do I sink to being full of complaints and whines about my current circumstances?

Love does not envy.
I shouldn't either.